The Grace To Be Holy

Paul and his wife Gretchen have been married for 27 years and reside in Lafayette, La. They are the proud parents of five children: Marie, Jacob, Sarah, Clare, and Addie. Paul serves as the Founder and President of Art of Living Inc. whose mission is to help people and organizations fulfill their mission and make a lasting impact. He is a speaker, consultant and author.

Seeing ourselves through the lens of St. Joseph

The season of Advent is a time to reflect on our spiritual journey.   Men are typically good at evaluating things, and Advent gives us the opportunity to do so. We often ask ourselves the question, “Is something working well or not?” If it is, how can it be more efficient, if it’s not, what needs to change? Advent gives us the opportunity to ask this of ourselves with regards to our relationship with God. How am I doing…how is my relationship with God…where is God in my life…what can I work on…and how can I grow in my faith? 
For men, being taught and shown is important. We’re taught how to do many things, but who shows us, teaches us and models for us how to be a man of faith – how to love God? In my book, Holy Grit, I highlight ten male saints and look at their lives as models and teachers for men. One of those saints is St. Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus. Let’s reflect on how we can grow in our love of God this Advent through the lens of St. Joseph.

Who is St. Joseph?

Joseph is one of the greatest figures in Christianity. We know little about him, yet he helped change the course of history. Joseph was the son of Jacob, the husband of Mary, and the earthly father of Jesus, the Messiah. Joseph’s lineage can be traced back to the great king David, an important fact in salvation history. We first hear of Joseph in the Gospels of Matthew and Luke. We know little about Joseph from Scripture, but what we do know is very telling. Joseph worked with his hands, a trade he probably learned from his father, Jacob. We know he was a carpenter because the skeptical Nazarenes ask about Jesus, “Is he not the carpenter’s son?” (Mt 13:55). The Greek word usually translated as “carpenter” today can also refer more generally to a craftsman or to one who works with both wood and stone, so it’s possible that Joseph was a stone mason as well. We know Joseph wasn’t wealthy, for when he and Mary took Jesus to the Temple to be circumcised, they offered the sacrifice of two turtledoves or a pair of pigeons, allowed only for those who could not afford a lamb (Luke 2:24). Jesus would have learned his trade by working alongside Joseph, watching him as a young child and then learning hands-on. Joseph was a provider, a husband, and a dad. 
On a human level we can relate to Joseph. Unlike Mary who was born without sin, Joseph is most like us as a man and as one born with original sin. And like Joseph, God meets us where we are and moves us forward. Joseph, a simple carpenter, was not born a saint but became a saint.

The virtues of patience and courage

Through St Joseph's life and story, we can learn from him as he grew in patience and courage. I imagine that Joseph was a hard worker—an average man, like you and me, who made an honest living. He maybe even saved a little for the future. He was probably content with his life and work, and at some point, began to desire a family.
According to Jewish tradition of the time, Joseph’s marriage to Mary probably would have been arranged by their families. We aren’t sure how old Joseph and Mary were when they were betrothed, but many theologians suggest that Mary was a young teenager and Joseph was years older. I’m certain that Joseph had plans for the future with his beautiful wife and their family, just like everyone else who has ever been engaged and dreamed of an amazing, joy-filled life with the one they love. Joseph’s plans changed when he discovered that his fiancée, Mary, was pregnant, and that the child she carried was not his. His dreams came to a halt. Imagine the confusion and stress Joseph must have experienced. He was in a bind.
He needed to make a decision before everyone else found out! The Gospel of Matthew states that when Mary “was found with child through the Holy Spirit, Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly” (1:18–19). We’ve all experienced times in our lives where things don’t go the way we’ve envisioned or planned.

In these moments of despair and confusion, Joseph desired to be patient and act courageously. Many times, we too desire to act bravely and do the right thing. Instead of waiting on God to show us the next step, we take the initiative and act, moving forward on our own terms. Men are good at being “self-reliant.”  Joseph was aiming to do this, to act on his own accord. Joseph paused, prayed fervently and waited.

Advent is a season of waiting. In our waiting God gives us a new vision and direction for our life, giving us the courage to take the next step. Maybe you are at a place of wanting to act or take control. And God is inviting you to be patient. Maybe you aren’t sure what God wants, and maybe, like Joseph, you are being asked to pause and give God time to work it out. By waiting, Joseph found out that God’s plans are better than his – much better.
 

The grace to be holy

St. Joseph's journey is one of growing in holiness. Joseph was a “righteous” man, that is, a godly man who was “right with” God. Joseph made up his mind to end the engagement quietly so as not to expose Mary to public shame, which was perhaps his conscience. He was doing a good thing, and probably reasoned to himself, ‘I’ll do what I can, the minimum that’s required of me to be a good and righteous man. Isn’t that the baseline standard for men—to be a good person?’ I hear this often in my conversations with other men: “I’m a good man.” 

Joseph could leave and move on, forget about the past, and pretend all was well. That’s what men often do; they pick themselves up by the bootstraps and move on.
I can relate to Joseph in this situation as a man and a husband. I can sense his anxiety, the pressure to make the right decision and do the right thing. Leaving Mary made sense. Why? Because it was justified. This was not his problem to solve, right? 

God intervened as Joseph prayed and contemplated what to do. As Joseph fell asleep praying each night, God showed up through a message of an angel to speak to Joseph and give him clarity on what to do. It became his task to take on this responsibility and handle things. God gave Joseph the Grace to make the holy decision, not the justified one that would serve to clear his conscience by leaving Mary quietly. God too gives us the grace to be holy. God desires our holiness more than we do, he wants good things for us, just as he did for St. Joseph. He gives us the grace we need every day to do that.

The desire to do God's will

St. Joseph desired deeply to do God’s will. God intervened in Joseph’s heart in his time of distress, as the Gospel of Matthew tells us: “the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her’” (Matthew 1:20). God had spoken and Joseph was willing to do God’s will.

God speaks to our hearts too, but do we listen? The same God that spoke to Joseph through a dream is the same God who speaks to us today. In stillness and quiet, God speaks. Amid chaos, God is present. The same grace that St. Joseph received is the same grace we received through Baptism and that remains with us today. God is near, always. The course of Joseph’s life changed the day he said yes to God’s will.

St. Joseph demonstrated his willingness to follow God’s will rather than his own. When God directed him to a manger in Bethlehem when Mary was ready to give birth, Joseph was obedient. When God told him to evacuate to Egypt in the middle of the night to escape the imminent slaughter of the Child Jesus, Joseph did it. When it was time to return to Nazareth to raise his family and to work, Joseph went to Nazareth. To this day, many men have looked to Joseph for guidance. You and I are called to follow God and do His will; to say yes to Him and to put His will before our own.

This Advent let us reflect on our lives through the journey of St. Joseph who teaches us how to be a man of faith, how to be patient and courageous. He teaches us how to seek holiness, pray, listen, and respond to God in our lives.  St. Joseph the Worker, pray for us!