What happens to people who refused to be confirmed when the sacrament was available to them as teenagers? Can they be married in the church? Can they receive the sacrament of the sick? Are they barred from any sacraments or rites of the church?
To answer the legal aspects of the above questions properly, we have to understand the sacraments themselves. Baptism, confirmation, and holy Communion are the church’s three sacraments of initiation. If an adult comes into the church, they receive them in that order. A cradle Catholic would probably receive baptism, the Eucharist, and confirmation in that order.
For the majority of Catholics who were baptized as infants, confirmation enables young adults to become full-fledged members of the church. We call this sacrament confirmation because the faith given in baptism is now confirmed and made strong by the candidates.
When we were baptized as infants, our parents and godparents made promises to renounce Satan and to believe in God and the church for us. Those receiving confirmation as young adults renew those same promises by speaking for themselves. Their faith becomes personal.
At the heart of confirmation is not so much about individuals confirming their choice to be Catholics; it is about God, the Holy Spirit, confirming them. It is much more about what God does to the individuals than something we do for God or even ourselves.
During confirmation, the focus is on the Holy Spirit, who confirmed the apostles on Pentecost and gave them courage to practice their faith. The Holy Spirit descended upon the 120 followers of Jesus in the upper room: “When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. Suddenly from heaven there came a sound like the rush of a violent wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. Divided tongues, as of fire, appeared among them, and a tongue rested on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as the Spirit gave them ability” (Acts 2:1-4).
Catholics believe that the same Holy Spirit confirms Catholics during the sacrament of confirmation and gives them the same gifts. These seven gifts of the Holy Spirit are wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude (courage), knowledge, piety and fear of the Lord. These gifts are special God-given graces bestowed on the persons who are open to receive them.
If candidates use these gifts for the glory of God and the well-being of others, they will experience the fruits of the Holy Spirit: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control – human qualities that the Holy Spirit can activate. Being confirmed in the church means accepting the responsibility for our faith and our destiny. It involves deepening our relationships with God and those we call “our neighbors.” Being a fully-initiated Catholic means that we must do what is right on our own not for the recognition or reward but because it is the right thing to do.
Confirmation deepens our baptismal life that calls us to be missionary witnesses of Jesus Christ in our families, neighborhoods, society and world. We receive the message of faith in a deeper and more intensive manner and are willing to live that faith in our everyday lives.
Confirmation also helps us to realize that we are adopted children of God; it renders our bond with the church in a more perfect union; it gives us a special strength to witness, to spread, and to defend the faith boldly and without shame, and it imprints on the soul an indelible spiritual mark with the seal of the Holy Spirit.
The church would like everyone to be an active, fully-initiated, practicing Catholic. For those who are not confirmed, most Catholic churches have special “catch-up” programs available. The church is not vindictive. A non-confirmed Catholic can receive all the sacraments including marriage, and the rites of the church. The only restriction is that a person cannot be a godparent. A person has to be a fully-initiated, practicing Catholic to be a godparent.