I hate lent. Wait … What? How could you, a priest, say such a thing? Lent is a sacred time in which we Catholics journey with Christ through the desert until we arrive at his passion and glorious resurrection. Allow me to clarify myself. I love the potential graces one can receive during Lent. I love that Lent provides a clear designated time to increase one’s spirituality. I love the fruits that come from fasting, sacrifice, and increased prayer life. And I love the fact that all Catholics are unified in increasing holiness during the Lenten season.
However, what I hate about Lent is the inevitable reality that midway through I know I will face extraordinary temptation, bitterness toward fasting and sacrifice, and a guilty desire to quit all matter of personal goals and Lenten promises. If you are like me, Lent is fine and dandy for the first couple of weeks: Good choices, solid prayer, a little pain (the good kind); but come the halfway point? Forget it! All I want is for Lent to end. What seemed like small sacrifices feel like impossible hurdles; prayer is all but repetitive and stale; and Easter can’t come fast enough. If this fits your description, I have a secret to tell you … Welcome to the club!!!
Before you despair and toss in the towel midway through this Lenten season, let me first offer you some words of encouragement: 1) You are not alone. Remember that Jesus Christ himself was tempted in the desert as well while he was tired, hungry and thirsty. 2) It’s never too late; one can enter fully into Lent at any point (beginning or end) and still achieve a greater holiness and deeper relationship with Christ. 3) You can do it! It may take some adjustments, but trust me if I can, you can.
There are typically three scenarios that lead to a declining Lenten experience: 1) Doing nothing (may seem obvious, but you have to start somewhere). 2) Choosing the wrong penance or biting off more than you can chew (it’s the Lenten season, not self-destruction season). 3) No direction (this includes both spiritual direction, but also the direction of personal goal setting and intercession), a.k.a., what are you Lenting for? Allow me to address these three scenarios with you with a few tips I’ve picked up over the years in my own spiritual journey and deepening appreciation of Lent.
1) Doing nothing. Are you in the same boat again? We are halfway through Lent and you still haven’t made any choices to enter into the Lenten season? Might as well wait until next year, too late now, right? Wrong!!! It’s never too late to hop on the Lent wagon and receive some special graces and deepen your relationship with Christ. Need some inspiration? What about the good thief crucified next to Jesus? Was it too late for him to repent and be welcomed into paradise by Christ? It was pretty last minute, but not too late. Lent is not just a sad floppy Filet-O-Fish from McDonalds on Fridays, it’s so much more. Lent is about PSI (not air in tires) Prayer, Sacrifice and Intercession. Start by setting some small goals for yourself; perhaps add 10 minutes a day to personal prayer, maybe fast for one extra meal a week, or intercede for a sick friend or family member. The absolute best place, however, to start on the right path is by making a good confession. I can’t tell you how important it is to receive God’s forgiveness prior to entering into a fruitful Lent, dare I say almost impossible to enter a fruitful Lent without first being in a state of grace. These small steps can make transitioning into Lent easy and fruitful. Be motivated, last minute or not, because we all want to end up like the good thief.
2) Choosing the wrong penance or penances. Every year around Mardi Gras I play in my mind a list of things I can give up for Lent: Sweets, sodas, hot water, snooze button, coffee, condiments, fast food, etc.; the list goes on and on. While all of these things are luxuries and fine examples of things I can give up, I often temporarily forget that Lent is not just about losing, it’s about gaining. By this, I mean part of Lent is not just about giving up things to make a sacrifice; it’s also about gaining virtue. What virtues do you seek? Humility? Prudence? Patience? Charity? All of the above or something else entirely? Consider what virtue you’d also like to gain when making a choice of penance. Does your choice aid you in gaining a corresponding virtue? Or will it hinder you?
Let me give you a personal example. Anyone that knows me knows that I am sorely addicted to diet coke, no joke, for real. Many people may immediately jump on this and say, “Well that’s exactly what you should give up. It’s not healthy. It’s a burden in your life. You should get rid of it, no more perfect time to do so than Lent.” This may sound like a good choice for me, but in reality I know myself and it’s not (or at least wasn’t at the time). I gave it up a long time ago before I was ready to, and throughout Lent I found myself bitter, rude, irritable and just short of turning green and smashing things. Does this sound virtuous? Certainly not. It wasn’t until a spiritual director I once had made things clear to me. He told me, “Paul, you picked the wrong penance. Never give up addictions cold turkey or something you are not prepared to for Lent; always choose something that hurts just enough that you can feel it all the time, but is soothed by the virtues you receive from doing without it.” The moral of this story is don’t pick the hardest penance you can imagine just for the sake of the sacrifice or health benefits, choose a penance that both heightens sacrifice in your life, but also increases virtue.
3) No Direction. This is perhaps the biggest reason in my opinion why so many struggle with Lent. What are you Lenting for? In answering this question, step one is quite simple: Find yourself a spiritual director. Talk to a priest you trust with your personal spiritual matters about what inspirations you have for the Lenten season. Tell your director your goals, what you hope to achieve, what you plan to sacrifice, how much you plan to fast, etc. Having exterior spiritual help is key to having a productive, uninterrupted Lenten season. Lastly, don’t let the sacrifices, fasting, and increased prayer fade into oblivion. Utilize your prayers and sacrifices for specific reasons: for example, personal holiness, the souls in purgatory, health of family and friends, our country, peace in the world, you name it. Lent without direction becomes stale quickly. Many times in my life I realized I was beginning to fail in my Lenten practices because I was doing them only for the sake of doing them, not for specific goals and requests. Direction gives reason, and reason gives motivation.
God Bless you the remainder of this Lenten season.
(Father Paul Birdsall is the associate pastor of St. Bernadette Church parish in Houma.)